A Mind Formed of Blood and Insanity
by Ao Yoake
Summary: Warning: Idiotic and dark humor; blood/gore fic When Ichigo thinks he's a vampire, just how far does the insanity go? From illogical fear of televisions to murder, there's not a drop of sanity left in sight. Just what is Ulquiorra up to...?
1. First Victim

**Ichigo is not mine. Sadly. And neither is Ulquiorra... damn... xD**

* * *

"Remind me again why I've been dragged to this trivial location…" said Kurotsuchi idly as he toyed with a bobble-head he had found on a nearby table.

Ulquiorra swiftly snatched the bobble-head and placed it back where the nosy scientist had found it. He sighed as he straightened his coat out, pulling the kinks from the long coattails.

"For the last time, Mayuri-"

"Kurotsuchi," he interjected crossly.

"I cannot accurately explain it. You must see for yourself."

"I don't like working with hollows. How about I just dissect you?"

"Focus, Mayuri!"

"Kurotsuchi!"

Ulquiorra blatantly ignored him, opening a door that led to absolute darkness. He stepped aside for Kurotsuchi to enter, then followed and closed the door behind himself. He was quiet as he kept close behind Kurotsuchi all the way down the stairs. When they got to the bottom, it was also pitch black- save for the television, which was currently on, for some odd reason. It was giving him a headache, so Kurotsuchi moved forward to turn it off.

Ulquiorra grabbed his wrist with a viselike grip. He shook his head slowly at the scientist.

"At least tell me what it is I'm looking for!" he said exasperatedly as he threw his hands up in the air.

Ulquiorra pointed at the darkest corner in the room, the farthest corner from the television. When Kurotsuchi squinted and strained every nerve in each of his eyes, he could see a figure huddled there, face downcast. If it weren't for the figure's orange hair, he probably never would have caught where the pale hollow had pointed. He was curled up, shaking like a leaf in the wind.

"It's Ichigo," Ulquiorra explained plainly, "he thinks that he is a vampire."

Kurotsuchi burst out laughing, "Oh, you've got to be kidding me! Him? A vampire!"

Ulquiorra maintained his stoic composure while he waited for Kurotsuchi to quiet down. The boy in question snapped his head up to gaze at Kurotsuchi. The feral shine of insanity was bright in his eyes. The mad scientist, finished laughing, turned to Ulquiorra.

"Why does he hide over there?" his voice was skeptic, his expression one of boredom.

"The television," he jerked his thumb behind himself plainly, "Ichigo can't make up his mind whether it's the sun or not. I find it comical, but there is, however, a method to this madness. He's a little, shall we say, violent…"

"Violent? May I see a demonstration?"

"I don't think that is such a good idea…"

As if to drive the point in, Ichigo began muttering dementedly to himself, loud enough for the two to hear, "The sun has been out rather long today…" he told himself. "My head gets so weak, but the smell of blood has been strong now. He brings a visitor…" he trailed off into his own rambling, the rest either not loud enough, or simply not in solid English.

"I still think I need to see, regardless of the danger."

Ulquiorra gazed at him blankly, then dug through the couch cushions. He withdrew with a television remote in his hand. Kurotsuchi held his hand out impatiently. The oddly marked hollow did not relinquish his hold just yet. He smacked Kurotsuchi's grabby hand away.

"Patience. Let me explain. I am going to go upstairs after I give you this remote. Once you hear the door close, you may turn the television off." Ichigo's ears perked up. He watched the two of them closely. "If you start to feel overpowered, give me a shout and I will turn the basement light on."

Kurotsuchi let out an aggravated sigh, "Yes, yes, yes! I am fully aware of the procedures for cases such as this! Now, give me the damned remote!"

Ulquiorra finally handed him the remote. He vanished before Kurotsuchi's eyes. Apparently, the Espada was more nervous than he wished to let on. He scoffed that Ulquiorra would be so scared of him… or… was it that he was scared of the boy…? No, he snorted. Never. That would be simply insulting. Without further ado, he used his thumb to press the red button at the top of the remote. The television was effectively turned off, leaving in its wake a high-pitched whine.

Ichigo, who had thrown his hands over his ears at the strange sound, slowly removed them, looking around, "The sun has set…"

"No, the television has been turned off," Kurotsuchi grumbled, indicating the remote.

He stared at the remote in awe, "You turned off the sun! Let me see it!"

"See what?" he asked innocently, hiding the remote behind his back, "I don't have anything."

"The wand, the wand!"

"Very well," Kurotsuchi tossed the remote off in a random direction, causing the frantic basket case to dive for it.

Ichigo experimentally tapped a button. He was dismayed when nothing happened. He tried again, but still nothing. Eventually, he had pressed every button except for the red one. He cautiously pressed the button, turning on the television. He hissed, dropped the remote, and shrunk into the shadows. Before Kurotsuchi could successfully retrieve it, however, Ichigo's hand shot out of the darkness and took it back. He pressed the red button repeatedly with nothing happening.

"Point the damned thing at the television, you dimwit!" Kurotsuchi shouted, and Ichigo obeyed.

Ichigo looked like a four-year-old with a candy bar. This would be a long… long day… Ichigo silently eyeballed the 'wand' in his hands. He was muttering to himself again.

"What are you saying over there?" he demanded. "Speak up!"

"You are no longer necessary," the insane, orange-haired teen said in a trance-like state.

As the teen stepped forward, Kurotsuchi stepped back. No matter what, he knew that he had to keep his distance. Unfortunately, Kurotsuchi was running out of places to run to. He wasn't sure why he was running, but a gut feeling was telling him that something was not quite right. Of course not, he had to scoff once more. He was insane! When he looked back at the boy again, he was dragging a chainsaw out from under the very table Kurotsuchi had grabbed a bobble-head off of. How had he missed such an important detail?

~o~o~o~o~o~

Ulquiorra yawned as he heard the chainsaw downstairs revving. He rolled his eyes. What theatrics. There was the sound of clumsy steps coming up the stairs. A frantic banging on the door as Kurotsuchi screamed for Ulquiorra to let him out. He opened the door just a crack.

"Calm down, Mr. Mayuri. He just wants to play with you," Ulquiorra sighed.

"Let me out! Do you want him to kill me?" the now sweating scientist screeched, trying to force his way through.

"Get back in the basement," he said coldly, placing a foot on Kurotsuchi's chest.

"You- you wouldn't!" he cried.

Ulquiorra gave the slightest of grins, kicked the scientist down the steps, "Oh, but I would. Have fun."

He closed the door, just in time for the screaming to begin. There was another shrill cry from behind the door and Ulquiorra could make out the distinct sound of the chainsaw carving through flesh, the resistance as it hit bone. The screaming remained, and from how quick the sound had been, Ulquiorra figure Ichigo had chopped off an arm or a leg. His suspicions were proven when there was more banging, albeit weaker, on the door.

"Espada! Please! Let me out!"

"Too late for manners, now. Shinigami."

The banging lasted only a couple seconds longer before the chainsaw pierced through the door. Wood splintered in every direction. Sawdust showered onto the floor. Blood sprayed through the hole. The Espada felt his face become wet as the blood spattered all over him. This time, there was a coughing sound. Mayuri was still alive. Lucky him.

The chainsaw had stopped spinning and was idling. Ulquiorra wondered if Ichigo had come out of the trance, but then he saw the end of the saw jerking around slightly. He had gotten it stuck in Kurotsuchi's ribs. The saw revved a couple times before coming to life again, the small blades spinning around and around. Small chunks of flesh and bone chips flew out and coated Ulquiorra's clothing thoroughly in gore. He brushed some off his shoulder, disgusted.

With another rev, Ichigo tore the chainsaw down through Kurotsuchi's torso. The whole time, Ulquiorra could hear Kurotsuchi's earsplitting, terrified screams and Ichigo's maddened cackling. Laughter that matched up better with that of a hollow than anything else. The chainsaw made a grating sound as it met concrete floor, sparks flying in every which direction. Ichigo, laughing the entire time he did so, turned the chainsaw and ripped it back up through the upper half of Kurotsuchi's body. Kurotsuchi's screams grew higher and higher in pitch until they abruptly ended with a cracking sound.

The chainsaw was still turned on, but there was no longer the sound of resistance against it. Ulquiorra waited until he heard Ichigo turn the chainsaw off, then opened the door. Ichigo was sitting on the floor beside Kurotsuchi's corpse, split in half, with the bloodied chainsaw beside his hand. His entire front was speckled in blood, making the childish smile on his face all the more terrifying. Ulquiorra stared down at the body. It was jaggedly cut all the way down, and where the chainsaw had gotten stuck, and also where it had been twisted, the body was very mutilated.

The scientist's entrails, sloppily split in half, were leaking out of his body, as wells as his brain from either halves of his head. Amazingly, either parts of Kurotsuchi's heart were still pumping. Sickening. Ulquiorra stomped on the larger portion of the heart, and as it was crushed, the smaller part ceased to beat. Ichigo looked up at Ulquiorra with dejection in his eyes.

"You don't like the present?" he asked sadly.

He wiped his foot off on the deceased captain's haori, "It's… lovely… but, first, how about we get you into the tub?"

"A bath?" Ichigo asked, not bothering to hide the detestation.

"You're right. Let's make it a shower instead."

This suggestion seemed to go better with the boy. He smiled and slid back down the stairs, into the darkness from whence he came. Ulquiorra noticed an eye rolling beside his foot. He squashed it with the tip of his boot, as if it were a bug. The man straightened his coat one last time before he descended into the darkness.

* * *

**Okay, so that's it for this one. I know I've been gone forever. I know this isn't what I've been writing. I've lost my head I suppose, but now, so has Kurotsuchi. :D**

**Let me know if you think this is worth continuing or if you'd rather I get my lazy ass back to work on my other fictions.**


	2. Attempts to Conquer Weakness

**A thanks to my one reviewer. xD Perhaps, I should start attempting at making these chapters longer, neh?**

* * *

Ichigo sat in the tub with a vacant expression, his clothes strewn across the floor. His knees were drawn up to his chest, allowing him to fit in the tub comfortably, and his hands held fast to the sides of the tub to give him a sense of security (however false it may be). The doorknob turned with a squeak and the door opened to reveal the pale, black haired cuatro Espada. Ulquiorra set some much needed clean clothes on the vanity to his right, then picked his way through the dirty clothes. Ichigo flinched at the sound of the shower curtain being pulled closed.

Things seemed to be going well until Ulquiorra reached for the knobs to the water. He turned the knob until warm water flowed from the faucet. Satisfied with the temperature, he pulled the switch on the end of the faucet. Warm water sprayed from the showerhead, getting Ichigo's orange hair sopping wet. He was puzzled for a moment with the strange feeling, then he looked up at the water raining down on him.

"No! Running water! I will drowned!" Ichigo shouted.

Ulquiorra slapped a hand over his mouth and held him down, "Be quiet. Running water would be a river. You're in the shower, remember?"

He didn't let Ichigo free until he nodded in understanding. The rest of the shower was uneventful, besides the fact that Ichigo decided the shampoo 'smelled bad' and that he would not even deign thinking of using it. Ulquiorra decided he would settle with not washing Ichigo's hair for today, seeing as he had at least miraculously gotten the bloodstains off his and Ichigo's skin. Though Ichigo didn't want to admit it, he preferred being clean over being coated in blood. Clean made for better movement and easier attacks.

~o~o~o~o~o~

"Ichigo, where did you leave my zanpakuto?" Ulquiorra asked exasperatedly.

The boy looked up from the object he was currently toying with. Ulquiorra was unsure of what it was from the distance and lighting, so he merely decided not to question it. Ichigo indicated the couch across the room.

"It's hiding," he told Ulquiorra, "hide-and-seek."

He smiled at what he believed was a wonderful game. The Espada was very familiar with this game by now. It mostly consisted of Ichigo weaseling away Ulquiorra's most prized possessions until he was ripping his hair out in agitation. Sometimes, he hid them in easy places, but other times, he'd never see the object again. He could remember one instance where the kid had managed to pry his eye out of his skull while he was sleeping and hidden it.

To this day, Ulquiorra never found where it had been hidden. A week after he had looked for it, he felt a twinge of pain in his socket. Upon looking in the mirror, Ulquiorra found the eye had returned- meaning that something had probably destroyed it, thus initiating regeneration. He shook his head to clear his thoughts.

"That's great, Ichigo," he said, displeased, "but please refrain from hiding Murcielago."

At this, he laughed, "Bat, it's a bat," he claimed, "just like me!"

Upon lifting the couch, Ulquiorra found that his zanpakuto was indeed under the couch. He snatched it up, returning it to its sheath, where it belonged. He looked at Ichigo sternly.

"Ichigo, you need to behave," he told him, then added reluctantly, "like a good _vampire_."

The 'vampire' gasped, "Good vampires behave?"

"Yes, they do," he said, "so if you want to be a good vampire, then you will have to behave."

"Okay, I'll behave like a good vampire! I'm going behave!"

He returned to his corner while saying this chant under his breath. Ulquiorra rolled his eyes. The boy didn't used to be like this. He used to be an absolutely normal… well, not normal Vizard. Now? He had completely lost his mind, that was for certain. He wished that he didn't have to take care of Ichigo like this, but after what had happened, he was left with no choice. And so, he was stranded, taking care of an equivalent of a four-year-old child.

When a random passerby made the connection, Ulquiorra immediately began studying how to care for a toddler. In the end, he found that it was a lot more work than it seemed. He found himself often trying to appease the boy and sugarcoat his requests and statements. Otherwise, they'd be reduced to the drawing boards once more. While he'd been reminiscing, Ichigo had crept over to him with whatever it was he'd been toying with.

"I have a new present," he cheered as he held up the sewn together head of Kurotsuchi.

Ulquiorra's lips pursed at this, "Ichigo, I thought I told you to throw that away," he chastised.

"B-but…" he whined, "it's a present…"

The Espada took in a deep breath, huffed, then took the head of Kurotsuchi from Ichigo. He was careful to mask the feeling of disgust behind his stoic visage, instead putting up a smile. Without a word, he patted the boy's head and took the 'present' upstairs with him. Ulquiorra had to catch up on some recon, he knew. He left the house, and after locking the door behind him, walked down the street. As he did so, he carelessly tossed the head into a trashcan by a neighbor's house.

~o~o~o~o~o~

Ichigo scrambled around on the floor. It would have been obvious to anyone that he was looking for something, but for what was the question. He would toss a few light objects around and mutter to himself occasionally, and all to no avail as of yet. He let a little sigh pass his lips as he fell on the couch. He didn't lay there for long before he had rolled over, yelped, and leapt off the couch.

"Yes!" he exclaimed, grabbing the remote off the cushion.

Controlling device in hand, the boy tiptoed up the stairs. When he pushed the door open, he was cautious so that he wouldn't give himself splinters from the hole he had put there the night before. Alas, when he was finally up the stairs, he wasn't quite certain what it was he had wanted to do. He looked around for a hint to jog his memory. That hint came in the form of a window, nearly covered by a curtain. Sunlight peeked in through the small crack in the covering.

He got as close as he dared, then held up the remote. Ichigo pressed the red button and waited. Nothing happened. He pressed the button again, and obviously, the sun did not turn off.

"It isn't working," Ichigo said with despair evident in his tone, "the wand has lost its magic…"

He then did what he had been doing best for the past week or so. Ichigo fell dramatically to his hands and knees to scream his anger. His anger at the sun, for not turning off. A rapping at the door came from the front room.

"Will you shut that racket off? I have work in four hours, and I'm trying to sleep!" shouted a voice from outside.

Startled, Ichigo flinched. Someone had stopped his touching monologue to complain about there dire need of sleep. He was not pleased, but then, an idea gradually took shape in his mind. As his head turned upward, a grin spread across his face.

"A visitor…" he said cheerily.

* * *

**Ahh... What is he up to now? Where did Ulquiorra go, and what was he thinking about? Will Ichigo ever manage to turn the sun off? Find out in chapter three! (Well, maybe not the the sun part...)**


	3. Hello, Victim Numer Two

**Well, I surprisingly worked kinda hard on this chapter. Despite its length of a mere three and a half pages, or mor familiarly, 1,939 words... I've done a bit of research for the torture involved here. Just so everyone knows... Well, don't mind me, I'm just reminiscing. ^^**

* * *

More insistent banging was heard from the door, Ichigo getting closer the whole while. He chuckled darkly under his breath.

"Only a matter of time," he told himself, "all in good time."

"Oi! Did you hear me? I'm talking to you!" the person shouted.

In one fluid motion, Ichigo ripped the door open, yanked the person inside the house, and slammed the door shut. He tossed the neighbor, a female, onto the floor. The female stood from the floor and brushed herself off.

"That is absolutely no way to treat a lady! Where are your manners?" she demanded hotly.

Ichigo held a finger to his lips to shush her, then turned to his own devices in the nearby kitchen. He yanked drawers and cupboards open as he worked his way through the kitchen. Finally, he found what he was looking for in the form of braided wire. A malicious grin in place, the boy returned to the guest room and the guest he was entertaining. She warily eyed the wire held in Ichigo's hands.

"What are you doing with that?" she asked, masking her fear with anger.

He giggled, "It's time to play…"

The woman back up slowly, the boy following her every step. Her eyes darted around the room for an escape route. She turned tail and ran for the front door. The moment her hand touched the knob, a lightly tanned hand slammed hard on the door. She pulled futilely on the knob, but soon sunk to her knees. Her head leaned against the painted wood of the door as muffled sobs reached Ichigo's ears. He frowned at the noise in displeasure, and was only further angered by the woman's screams while he dragged her towards the basement.

~o~o~o~o~o~

"What do you mean, you still can't fix him?" Ulquiorra demanded, his voice speaking volumes, despite his blank visage.

Urahara hid his smirk with his fan, "Exactly that. I can't just fix him as quickly as you're expecting. My genius takes time. Besides, you're not being completely truthful with me here. If I don't know the true cause of his state of mind, how am I to remedy it?"

Ulquiorra scowled very slightly- a bad habit he'd gotten from being around Ichigo too much, "I can't tell you everything. It's confidential information, and my head will be had if I release it."

"Oh?" cooed the comical, bucket hat wearing shopkeeper.

He looked up at a clock on the wall and was taken by surprise at the time, "I'm afraid I must take my leave, Urahara. I do hope that you'll have more pleasing results when next we meet."

"Bye-bye, now. Good luck with that 'problem' of yours," Urahara said, waving with his fan.

The door slammed as Ulquiorra left, causing the shopkeeper to jump. As the wood splintered, he knew he'd have to replace the door after the next time Ulquiorra visited, at the latest. What the emotionless Espada didn't express in words and facial expressions, he did sometimes express through his actions. Actions which cost the pouting shopkeeper a hefty price in repairs. Urahara turned to go farther into his store, but was stopped by a certain deceivingly male voice coming from a certain cat.

"Why didn't you tell him?" Yoruichi asked as she landed gracefully after her leap from the window.

He snapped his fan shut and inserted it into his pocket, "But that would ruin all the fun."

"A Seireitei captain was murdered this morning," she growled, "it's obvious who the culprit was."

"It is?" Urahara gasped with feigned shock.

Yoruichi's glowing, yellow cat eyes narrowed, "Don't play stupid with me, Kisuke. Listen, I don't know what you're up to, but it isn't going to end well. I wish you'd quit starting experiments without informing me before doing so."

Urahara remained silent. He opened the door he'd previously been walking towards, before being interrupted by Yoruichi. He entered, and she followed him.

"Just to be fair," he said, after things had been quiet enough for tension to grow, "I'm not the one who did it. I'm just the one observing the handiwork."

"I don't understand," she muttered, staring at the floor with a small frown.

"Neither do I, but I think I know who might…"

The black cat's eyes snapped up intelligently at this.

~o~o~o~o~o~

"Let me go! You _monster_! What kind of person does this to a lady?"

Ichigo didn't bother to look up, but instead kept his eyes on the table he was staring at. The table was full of various tools of torture- the problem being: Which one should he pick? He rubbed his chin thoughtfully with his thumb and forefinger as he scowled at the table. The scowl only increased in intensity as the woman screamed her distress. Ichigo whipped around to stare at her.

"Would you _shut up_?" he requested with a deathly quiet voice.

The woman gulped and nodded her head quickly, her tears evident at the corners of her eyes. Ichigo snarled at her.

"No! No tears! I'm not having that," he said, "keep them to yourself."

The woman shook her head as the saline liquid began to flow over her cheeks. Ichigo grit his teeth, grabbed an object from the table, then stomped over to where he had her tied with the braided wire. He slapped the side of her face, not hard enough to leave more than a light red mark, but still hard enough to make it sting.

Next, he shoved a stress ball into her mouth, and then, for good measure, he taped her mouth shut with duct tape. The woman cried even more, effectively pissing the nutcase off further. Ichigo banged a fist on the concrete wall, just beside her face. Only now did the woman stop crying, too scared to show any emotion besides the obvious fear in her eyes.

He smirked, "Better."

Ichigo went back to his table, and rummaged through his favorite items. Now, he plucked a new item from the table.

"Perfect," he giggled to himself, "this will do nicely."

The woman began to shake at the sight of the surgical needle in Ichigo's hands. She shook her head in terror. He pulled the tape off her mouth agonizingly slow, dropping the sticky material to the floor. The moment he removed the stress ball, she started up her screaming again. Ichigo covered her mouth with a hand, to no avail. He could still hear the screaming, even though nobody else could. The boy approached the table once more to pick up a small, sharp steak knife. He pulled her tongue from her mouth, held the knife blade against the side.

"Shall I remove it?" he giggle hysterically.

"Mmm! Mm!" she cried and cried, her hand straining against the bonds.

"Wrong answer," he hissed as the blade bit into her soft, pink tongue.

Before long, there was nothing but a bloody and wiggling stub where her tongue used to be, and still, the pained, wordless screams continued. Ichigo realized that he'd have only about two hours before she bled to death. He cursed himself for not thinking this through more. Another idea graced his mind. A home remedy he had learned. He was up the stairs and back in no time at all with a couple green tea bags, which he stuffed unceremoniously into her mouth.

"There," he said, admiring his handiwork, "that should induce a little coagulation, but not much. At most, I'm sure I've only added fifteen to thirty minutes of time."

The woman didn't care, because either way, she was going to die at this rate. Her wordless screams continued through the tea bags, and Ichigo was growing tired of the noise. With determination in his eyes, he resolved it was time to put the surgical needle to good use. He eyed her lips hungrily. Oh, how much fun he would have…

~o~o~o~o~o~

Ulquiorra locked the door, "I'm home," he called to the somewhat empty house.

He was greeted by a scream from the basement. White hands flew up in the air as he gave an aggravated sigh. He leaves for just an hour, and Ichigo was already causing more chaos! Not only this, but he had just realized that he had never turned the television back on. Not that it would've done him much good, as Ichigo had discovered the 'magic wand'.

Still, he was hoping that Ichigo wouldn't venture far while light remained outside. It seemed his hopes were unanswered. It wasn't enough to get back before sundown- he had to keep an eye on Ichigo nearly 24/7. Additional screaming from down the stairs reminded Ulquiorra of the conflict at hand. Ulquiorra ran a hand through his hair with a sigh and an eye roll.

"May as well see what's going on…"

~o~o~o~o~o~

Ichigo tied a square knot at the end of the sutures he had stitched the woman's mouth shut. Scarlet droplets were leaking out from the spaces between the stitching. The color made her shining blue eyes all the more prominent.

He leered down at her, "People are most beautiful when they are wearing red."

Salty tears leaked into her stitches, producing a whimper from behind the sewn lips. He caressed her swiftly paling cheek with a gentle hand.

"I'm sorry," he apologized sadly, "I forgot to ask what your name was before we started playing. I guess I should give you a name, now, shouldn't I…?" Ichigo paused thoughtfully. "I know! How about Mary?"

Her eyes shined with her endless tears as her lips quivered, pulling at the stitches. Perhaps, a sliver of temporary sanity was shining on this boy's mind! Maybe, he would at last show her mercy! She nodded with a the hope that he would let her go.

"You'd like that?" he asked, getting another nod from 'Mary'. "That's great," he cradled steak knife happily, "now I know what name to carve into your body."

The woman's eyes widened. No! No, he couldn't be serious! He was still just as crazy as before! She struggled more furiously than ever before to escape, but her attempts only served as a means of more pain as her wrists and ankles were rubbed raw by the braided wire bonds. She screamed through her closed mouth and the tea bags.

The next series of events happened in a jumble. The first thing to happen was that Ichigo's left eye twitched. The second was for the woman to grow silent in shock, staring at something over Ichigo's shoulder. Next, there was a sigh from behind him. Ichigo turned to see a disappointed Ulquiorra.

"Ichigo, she's had enough torture," he told the pouting boy, "leave her be."

Hope restored, the woman stared up at her pure white savior. What she saw in his eyes caused her to forget all about being freed. This was not the freedom she longed for. She had a husband, a life. She had so many children that she had yet to create. Was all that to be ruined now?

"Mm- mmph!" she shook from head to toe in terror.

"Shh," he caressed her face, much as Ichigo had earlier, "everything is okay now. I'm going to end this."

She watched on in horror as Ulquiorra drew Murcielago from its sheath. He held it by the handle, adjacent to his face, then brought it down. Murcielago sheathed itself deep within the woman's chest. She heaved one last muffled scream before keeled over and died. He stared down at the back of the woman's head silently.

Ichigo crawled forward, touched Ulquiorra's shoulder curiously, "Did I do something a bad vampire would do?"

* * *

**I guess everyone should say bye-bye to Mary. Damn, Ulquiorra's a party-pooper! So, is Ichigo in trouble...? or not? Also, I'm wondering what's going on with Urahara and Yoruichi. Is Urahara on to something, or what? What is Ulquiorra hiding? And what's all this about a lawn mower? Find out in chapter four! :D**


	4. Wold Domination and Lime Deformation

**Stupid Chapter name, I know, but it was the best I could come up with. xD It has come to my attention that this story is starting to get gorier and gorier. As such, I shall be changing it to a rating of 'M' for here on out. Don't let that stop you from reading, though. :D Enjoy~**

* * *

Ichigo crawled forward, touched Ulquiorra's shoulder curiously, "Did I do something a bad vampire would do?"

Ulquiorra pet the woman's hair fondly. He took a breath, counted to ten. He stood up and turned to Ichigo, who reflexively shrunk away. The Espada reached forward, and Ichigo whimpered nervously. What Ulquiorra was doing, however, was not punishing Ichigo. Instead, he pulled Ichigo into a hug. Ichigo was very confused, the gears in his mind grinding with the effort of trying to comprehend what just happened.

"Ichigo," he said, "please don't go outside until the sun sets. You're supposed to be a good vampire."

"Well, if you say so," Ichigo replied cheerily.

Ulquiorra spared a single glance back at the corpse, "Please burn the body. I don't want evidence left behind."

Ichigo pet the woman's hair, "Okay."

~o~o~o~o~o~

He lounged on his throne, contemplating various matters that concerned recent events. Aizen was in a bit of a bind as of recently, and he partially blamed that nuisance of an orange haired Vizard in Karakura. His plans had been going smoothly- just perfect!- and then, the kid had to go bat shit crazy on him. Ichigo played an important role in his plans, so it was absolutely vital that the boy was in prime condition. The fights Ichigo had gotten into and the experiment Urahara had carried out had, thus far, only served as brilliant fodder to his plans.

Then, some rat whom Aizen had yet to corner came along and ruined it all! Yanked it right from his hands just to shred it over his feet and laugh at Aizen's disbelief. Aizen swore to himself that when he found the rat, he would take joy in seeing whoever it was embracing the tip of his blade.

"Aizen, we need to talk," came a voice from below and to his left.

He was jolted from his thoughts, but planted a devious grin on his face, "In this realm, they address me as Lord Aizen. Good evening, Kisuke."

Urahara held his fan in front of his face, disguising his grimace, "What are you planning, Aizen?"

Aizen had already deduced that Urahara would not know much more than he did about the situation. He had been beyond correct. It appeared that the unorthodox shopkeeper had made it up in his mind that Aizen himself was the reason for Ichigo's madness. Aizen truly had not done anything; however, he did not want Urahara to know this little fact. Knowing that Aizen was not the cause meant knowing that Aizen was not in control. Aizen _loathed_ being out of control.

He went for his usual 'innocent ploy' routine, "Why, whatever do you mean, Kisuke? I'm rather unsure of what you are accusing," he taunted, analytically raking his eyes over Urahara before he glanced over to Urahara's right, "I see you've brought a friend with you, as well."

"Aizen, we're on to you, and we're going to discover what you're plotting," Yoruichi growled, "you won't be smug for long."

"Oh?" Aizen chuckled, "And how will you ever reach me?"

Aizen gestured toward an entourage that had made itself known in the back of the room. Several hollows were waiting for orders.

"You coward," she hissed under her breath.

"Your efforts are most impressive," Aizen claimed sarcastically, "but I'm afraid terribly inadequate. I tire of you like a tasteless meal," he yawned, "now, be gone. I have armies to conquer."

He waved a hand dismissively. If that wasn't invitation enough to leave, then the hungry leers of the hollows was plenty. The two reluctantly retreated, having learned no more than they already knew. In fact, they had more questions than ever before.

~o~o~o~o~o~

It was midnight in Karakura. Ichigo had grown hungry, and so he was rummaging through the kitchen when he found on the counter a small, green object. It was almost a perfect ball shape, but with a knoblike extension out either sides, and what appeared to be pores covering its skin. He picked it up curiously, scraped it with his fingernails. Ichigo found that the skin peeled away to reveal the paler flesh of the object. Just as he was about to try a bite of it, Ulquiorra walked into the kitchen.

The Espada bolted across the kitchen and swatted the object out of his hands, "Eating a lime, are you crazy?" he demanded. "This is _bad_ for you! Bad!"

Ichigo bowed his head and shielded it with his forearms and hands, as if expecting some awful punishment, "I'm so sorry," he wailed, "I didn't know!"

Ulquiorra groaned to himself, "Of course you didn't know, Ichigo. I'm sorry," he rubbed the boy's shoulder reassuringly, "I just overreacted, okay? How about you have an apple instead?"

Traumatic event already forgotten, Ichigo smiled, "Okay!"

Ulquiorra sat at the dining room table, examining the lime in his hand. That had been close, he thought. The last thing he needed was for Ichigo to unknowingly poison himself. Well, poison himself further, anyway.

~o~o~o~o~o~

Renji whistled a happy tune, closing his door behind himself. There was a trash bag in his hand. He was minding his own business as he was taking out the trash- little did he know, he was about to get an unpleasant shock. The red haired lieutenant lifted the lid of the trashcan only to be greeted by a gruesome sight. Rukia's body was nestled comfortably inside the big silver can, her eyes vacantly staring in front of her. Her lips were expertly sewn shut, dried blood covering her chin.

In a stupor, Renji pulled her body out of the trashcan. Her head lolled to the side, and that was when the tears formed in his eyes. Some monster had slain his childhood friend. He would make that monster pay dearly…

~o~o~o~o~o~

Meanwhile, Ichigo was curled up on the couch, staring at his toes with childlike curiosity. His nose twitched and Ichigo gasped before finding himself sneezing. Ulquiorra looked up at the boy for a moment, then went back to cleaning Murcielago.

"Ichigo, I really hope you're not catching a cold," Ulquiorra grumbled, "the last thing I need is to have to figure out how to treat _that_."

He giggled, watching his toes wiggle, "I don't know how to catch a cold. Have you ever caught one, Ulquiorra? What do you lure it with?"

Ulquiorra stopped and thought while he stared at the wall where 'Mary' had been tortured. He observed the faint blood smears across the floor. Something dawned on him.

"Ichigo, what did you do with that body I told you to burn?" Ulquiorra demanded, snapping his eyes back to the boy.

"I put it outside…" he replied innocently.

"Ichigo, I told you to burn it!"

"But you don't burn anything!"

Ulquiorra paused. That had been one of the most childish, and yet one of the most obvious, arguments he had ever heard. The whole you-don't-do-it-so-why-should-I thing. It had taken him by surprise, but he quickly reigned in his emotions.

"Fair enough. We should still find it, though," Ulquiorra sighed, "I'll burn it."

Ichigo giggled, and it filled Ulquiorra with dread. He knew where this was going.

"She's playing hide-and-seek!"

Ulquiorra groaned miserably and thumped his head down on the coffee table. Ichigo tossed his hands in the air and whooped loudly with a proud grin on his lips.

* * *

**Okay, so that was a crazy chapter. ^^ So much skipping around and all, so I hope you were able to keep up. It seems that the person Urahara knew was causing this wasn't actually doing anything at all... take that, Aizen stereotypes! Ha ha ha! Ahem. Well. Isn't it interesting that Ulquiorra doesn't want Ichigo going out into the sunlight? I find it most curious. Then, there's his overreaction to the lime. What was that all about? And what is Renji going to do now that he's found the corpse of his childhood friend?**

**(P.S.: I decided to give in to the suggestion and my own selfish wims and made the woman Rukia. So... Rukia lovers, go ahead and flame me, but I'll just use your flames to help burn her body all the more better next chapter~ )**


	5. Connecting the Dots

**Gah, so much headache. DX**

**Anyway, me no own this. Just my ability to be sporadic.**

* * *

"She's playing hide-and-seek!"

Ulquiorra groaned miserably and thumped his head down on the coffee table. Ichigo tossed his hands in the air and whooped loudly with a proud grin on his lips. Ulquiorra steadily beat his forehead on the coffee table.

"Ichigo, you are driving me up a wall here," he grumbled miserably.

The orange haired boy curiously tilted his head, "How am I doing that without a car?"

"You don't use a- I mean, you can't- gah!" he floundered. "It's a figure of speech! It means your making me go nuts."

He giggled, "You're weird."

Ulquiorra abruptly stood and left the room. Best to get as much distance as possible, lest he strangle the pathetic kid.

~o~o~o~o~o~

"What is your report, cuatro Espada?" Aizen demanded rather than requested.

Ulquiorra could be seen in a hazy screen as he replied, "The subject grows more frantic and sporadic each day. It can only be a matter of time before it's too late. From the information I have gathered, his brain is being broken down. By what, I cannot be sure. What I do know is that it is taking a serious toll on his psyche. He is currently going insane. He's attempted murder more times than can be counted on both hands, and he's basically succeeded twice."

"Any further information?"

"Yes, Lord Aizen. Whatever is affecting the boy, it has made him intensely photosensitive."

Aizen was dumbfounded by this word, "Come again?" he asked stupidly.

"He is highly susceptible to sunburn, my lord."

"Ahh… ah, yes, I knew that. Is that all? Have you been carrying out the proper procedures in reaction to these effects?"

"Yes, my lord. I've been keeping him indoors whenever the sun is out, and I've been trying my utmost hardest to keep him from consuming limes."

"Limes?" Aizen was yet again baffled by Ulquiorra's logic.

"They increase the intensity of photosensitivity."

"Uh…"

"Susceptibility to the sun, my lord."

"Yes, yes. I know. Make sure he is not damaged, Ulquiorra. He is a crucial key in my plans."

"Yes, my lord."

~o~o~o~o~o~

Ichigo smirked to himself, tinkering with his 'toys' in the basement. He had a light bulb in his hand, a gallon of gasoline in the other, and a delicate drill with a tiny bit on the table. He had already drilled a hole into the bulb and was now carefully inserting the gasoline inside. He rubbed a transparent slice of tape over the hole, then chuckled at his work. It was brilliant! All that was left was to screw it into an unsuspecting person's lamp!

"What are you doing?" Ulquiorra snapped, obviously irritable.

Ichigo jolted to attention and hid the bulb behind his back, "Nothing."

"Let me see it, Ichigo."

"It's nothing!"

"Let me see it," he said once more, easily pulling the bulb from Ichigo's hands.

He stared incredulously at what he was holding. After he was done staring, he stared some more, mouth agape in a stupor.

"No," he said to Ichigo, "no, no, no."

"Why not?" he whined.

"You are not blowing someone's house up, Ichigo," Ulquiorra lectured, "what happened to being a good vampire."

Ichigo mumbled something that sounded like, "Mm mmb bmmm hmm…"

"Excuse me?" Ulquiorra tapped his foot with his arms crossed, bulb still in hand.

"I said, I am a good vampire," he pouted, "can I have my light bulb back now?"

Instead of saying no, Ulquiorra decided to change the subject. If he had learned anything, it was that Ichigo had developed a bit of a one-track mind. All he had to do was give Ichigo something more exciting to think about.

"Hey, Ichigo," he said with a forced smile, "want to go play at the park?"

"Okay!" Ichigo cheered.

"Go get your jacket and we can go," Ulquiorra pointed up the stairs.

"Yay!"

A blur of orange disappeared up the stairs. Ulquiorra discarded the tampered light bulb into the trash can, then followed the exuberant boy up the stairs. It was all for Lord Aizen, he told himself. It was all worth it for Lord Aizen.

~o~o~o~o~o~

Renji was crying angry tears at the sight of Rukia. He was pulling the stitches from her lips when he spied something odd on her sundress. A hair was stuck to it, most likely thanks to static. His brow furrowed. He gingerly picked the hair from her clothing, bringing it to eye level. It was orange, and much too long to be a cat hair. The fiery redhead ground his teeth. So the murderer had orange hair, did he? That narrowed the culprits considerably.

"Ichigo," he hissed under his breath, pure malice burning in his eyes.

There was a knock at Renji's door, "Lieutenant Abarai, open this door. There are important matters we must discuss."

Renji rushed to the door, throwing it open, "Captain Kuchiki," he said breathlessly.

"Is something the matter, Abarai? You are crying."

"Captain Kuchiki…" he wailed as he collapsed on hands and knees.

Byakuya frowned, "Tell me what's going on this instant, Abarai-"

Just then, the raven haired captain caught sight of his adopted little sister's corpse. He gaped in wide eyed shock. His face grew pale, and his hand gripped the doorframe so tightly that it left indentions the same size and shape of his fingertips.

"Rukia," he tried to whisper, but only managed a small, unmanly squeak as his throat was too tight to let any sound escape.

~o~o~o~o~o~

"Whee! Higher, Ulqui, higher!" Ichigo squealed.

Ulquiorra harrumphed at the nickname, but nonetheless, obliged. He didn't care that Ichigo was too old for this, nor about the fact that he himself didn't particularly it. Better to force himself to do something he didn't like so that he was listening to a happy Ichigo, rather than leave him to his own devices and be stuck with the miserable chaos. At least, that's what he kept telling himself. Try as he did, his resolve was slowly wearing down, and he was getting so deliciously close to simply letting the boy kill everyone.

"Ulqui, Ulqui!" Ichigo called.

"What?" he snapped.

"Why'd you stop pushing me?" he asked, pouting like the little kid his psyche had convinced him he was.

"I stopped pushing you?"

"Yes!"

Ulquiorra shook his head and rolled his eyes. He hoped that he would soon find a cure to this madness. If he had to put up with this new Ichigo for anywhere close to one more week, they were both going to have to be checked into an insane asylum.

"Higher, Ulqui, higher!"

* * *

**Just thought it would be fun to end the chapter like that. Yeah, I know I promised a lawn mower, but it just didn't seem the right time. Instead, you get to find out what happens with light bulbs! :D But nothing happens~ Or does it? So, now everyone hopefully knows why Ichigo thinks he's a vampire. Also, I just like making Aizen look bad. ^^ I don't like him, but I like him more than Rukia. Thus, he is still alive. Anyway~ On to the important stuff!**

**The cat is out of the bag now! Renji's on to Ichigo at last, and what's worse is that Byakuya is also out for revenge, too. Ulquiorra's being driven up a wall by Ichigo, who doesn't know what that even means, and~ we didn't see anything with Urahara this chapter. Perhaps he will appear in chapter six. O.O So, hope you guys are excited. I'm starting to get my plot in order! (Because, honestly, chapter one had no plot, and neither did chapter two.)**

**Oh, and one more thing: If anyone has requests for victims/methods, I'm totally open to ideas. :D I'm trying to be endless in creativity here, but I'm totally up for a switch up. Unless it will affect the plot. But, yeah. xD Review~ **


	6. When Going Gets Tough

**Okay, so here it is! That chapter you guys have been waiting for. I'm sorry that I took a while for this update. I've been updating once a day, but I didn't do that yesterday... but I made up for it! See, see? This chapter's longer than the other ones! Although, that's partially because I got a little caught up in the end. Also, I figured it would be funny to tell everyone: I typed this while listening to the songs Keep Your Lamps, Let My People Go, One of Us, and I'll Make a Man Out of You. In that order. xD Bwa ha ha! But where are my manners? Enjoy!**

* * *

Ulquiorra had finally gotten Ichigo to go to sleep when he heard something behind him. He turned on his heel to see an unappealing sight. Nnoitra. What was so unappealing about him? Well, for starters, the guy was a total jackass. He loved to do anything to make himself look good, and he never did a favor for others unless he got something in return. Needless to say, there was no way that Nnoitra was in his presence for small talk.

"What do you want, five?" he asked, addressing Nnoitra by his Espada rank, rather than name.

Nnoitra started to frown, but quickly covered it with a smirk that practically tore his face open. He sidled over to Ulquiorra and placed a hand on his shoulder. Ulquiorra suppressed the urge to flinch and shiver. He fixed Nnoitra with a blank stare, which caused the longish haired man to withdraw his hand.

"I was just gonna help a buddy out," Nnoitra drawled with a devious glint in his one eye, "but maybe you don't want my help?"

"I've never accepted help from the likes of you. Why would I start now?"

Nnoitra silently mulled this over. He drifted around the room, pretending that he was still considering the pale Espada's question. In truth, he had known that something like this would happen all along, and he was fully prepared for it. He slipped his fingers into Ichigo's wild, orange hair, pulling his head up by using that same hair. Nnoitra examined him closely.

"What a pitiful excuse for a Vizard," he mused to Ulquiorra, "Lord Aizen's expectations are much too high for this one. However, I cannot ignore the will of my Lord anymore than you, my friend."

Ulquiorra narrowed his vibrant green eyes, "Get to the point, five."

"Very well, _four_," he spat, releasing his hold of Ichigo's hair, "Lord Aizen has requested that I take your place in caring for it. He's giving you a vacation."

"I won't believe that unless I hear those words from Lord Aizen himself."

Nnoitra growled and grit his teeth, but eventually snapped, "Fine."

Before they left, Ulquiorra was sure to turn on the television- just in case their wonderful little psycho decided to wake up and rampage before he returned.

~o~o~o~o~o~

Ulquiorra could not believe his own ears. He had to ask again, just to be sure.

"I said that you need a vacation," Aizen told him, face absolutely free of humor, "I've noticed the toll it's been taking on you. While Ichigo is a valuable piece in this chess game, I am not sacrificing you for a piece I'm unsure of whether I can keep. I'm sending you to the Bahamas for some rest and relaxation."

"Excuse me?" Ulquiorra blinked in astonishment.

"Don't look so surprised. The beach could do you some good," Aizen replied, chuckling at how flustered the pale Espada was becoming.

"Yeah, and all the boobs… er, women you could want," Nnoitra pitched in.

Ulquiorra could have added that the amount of women he wanted was an absolute zero, but he elected to hold his tongue. Best not to argue with an idiot, for he did not wish for him to drag Ulquiorra down to his own level. Nnoitra would beat Ulquiorra with experience (in idiocy, that is). Rather than looking a gift horse in the mouth, Ulquiorra nodded his thanks to Aizen.

"But I must ask, who will watch over the boy in my absence?" Ulquiorra asked, unable to contain his curiosity.

"Of course, Nnoitra will be taking care of the boy," Aizen smirked.

"What?" Nnoitra screeched, apparently uninformed of the fact that he was the one who'd be working as substitute caretaker. "I'm going to _baby-sit_?"

"Hush, Nnoitra. It is about time you've made yourself useful," Aizen said, effectively silencing the incredulous outburst.

Ulquiorra chuckled to himself. Aizen did not hear it, but Nnoitra did. Nnoitra was only further infuriated. Unfortunately, Aizen was not having any more outbursts. He dismissed the two from his throne room. Nnoitra watched, seething, as Ulquiorra made a hasty retreat towards his trip to the Bahamas. Coincidentally, Grimmjow and Harribel had been watching this subtle exchange from afar. Harribel smiled behind her high collar while Grimmjow cackled uncontrollably.

"Serves ya right, sucker!" he said, pointing as he continued to laugh.

Nnoitra whipped around and glared with absolute loathing burning in his eyes, "Shut up, six."

This mentioning of rank was a way of pointing out that Grimmjow wasn't as highly ranked as Nnoitra, and therefore, weaker. He was trying to throw his stature around in an attempt to repair his pride- a genuine bully. Grimmjow's face twisted in displeasure. He grumbled to himself about how Nnoitra was such a spoilsport. Harribel merely watched with a skeptic gaze, being a higher rank than both of them.

"Don't you have some babysitting to be doing, five?" Harribel questioned smoothly- it was obvious that the fun had ended, and she did not wish to break up the scuffle threatening to build up.

Nnoitra and Grimmjow continued to glare at each other for a few more seconds, only ceasing when Harribel stepped between the two. They snapped their farewells, then wandered off to carry on with their own business.

~o~o~o~o~o~

Ichigo awakened, for the first time in a long time, without the presence of Ulquiorra. He looked around the room, weary as a lost child. In his frantic searching, he even checked under the bed, to see if he was hiding there. No luck, though. Ulquiorra was nowhere to be found, and if he wanted to continue his search, then he'd have to get past the television. Another unlucky thing for Ichigo, he didn't know where the remote was.

From behind him, Ichigo heard a clattering sound. He spun around to see an extremely tall man with long black hair and an eye patch. The man had knocked over Ichigo's nightstand. It had been on purpose, to get a reaction out of Ichigo, but Ichigo didn't know that. His eyes lit up the same way they had when Ichigo met Mayuri. The glint of insanity. Then again, Nnoitra had no knowledge of this, for Ulquiorra had not informed him of what he needed to know, and Aizen could care less what happened. Again, Nnoitra was unaware of these tiny things.

Ichigo stepped forward, smiling, "Oh, a guest! Ulqui did not tell me that you would be here!"

Nnoitra grimaced as the boy got closer, "He doesn't tell you a lot of things. 'Ulqui' is going on vacation, so I'll be here for awhile."

Ichigo was put off by this, but not for long. He figured that if he didn't understand what Nnoitra was talking about, then he'd just play along. Ichigo smiled, "Want to play?"

For some unfathomable reason, Nnoitra felt a shiver go down his spine, "Sure."

Ichigo giggled, pulling the man out of the bedroom, "First, you have to turn the television off," he explained in a childish manner, pointing and making cute gestures, "then we can play!"

Nnoitra thought nothing of the fact that Ichigo should have been fully capable of turning the television off on his own, nor did he consider how creepy Ichigo sounded when he mentioned playing. He unknowingly danced in Ichigo's palm, doing just as Ichigo willed him to. The whole while, he thought that he was the one in control. He grumbled obscenities under his breath as he pressed the off button on the side of the television. He never saw the leer on the kid's face, or the grin that stretched from ear to ear.

The man didn't even think to look up until he heard the doorbell ring, and when he did, Ichigo was ominously close behind him. How he had not managed to notice this was a mystery in itself. While he was mulling over the wonder of not sensing Ichigo's spiritual pressure, Ichigo had very different ideas going through his head. The person banging on the door was getting more persistent. He could already feel the headache starting, the irritability reaching its peak.

Ichigo eyed something on the Espada's back when the glint from the light on it caught his eye. He stared in unmasked awe at the zanpakuto, which resembled a twin bladed scythe. As if under the trance that so often took Ichigo, he reached a hand out to clasp the weapon in it. Nnoitra, feeling the sudden weight on his back, pitched forward in controlled surprise. Ichigo whined in bemusement. He'd been sneaky enough, but the arrancar was just too paranoid to sneak up on anymore.

Nnoitra glared over his shoulder, "Hands off the zanpakuto, kid."

Ichigo pouted and feigned surrender. He slunk away, hiding behind the couch. Their visitor upstairs rang the doorbell twice, then banged on the door again.

"Ugh! I'm coming already!" Nnoitra shouted as he walked toward the stairs.

Ichigo's face lit up. There it was again. The glint of that enticing weapon. Nnoitra had made an err in his actions- that err being that he had figure Ichigo wouldn't bother him, now that he had shown he was capable of noticing the boy. That was where he had been wrong. Fool Ichigo once, shame on Nnoitra. Fool him twice, shame on Ichigo. A blur of orange shot out as Ichigo leapt on Nnoitra's back. He viciously yanked the weapon away, examining its beautiful curves, points, and edges for but a moment. Moment of praise completed, Ichigo knew just what he would do.

The problem with this plan, though, was that Nnoitra wouldn't just sit by and take a beating. Nnoitra also wasn't as weak or caught by surprise as Mayuri and 'Mary' had been. Ichigo would have to be quick, and he would have to be nimble. Nnoitra anticipated Ichigo's moves and dodged when he swung. Ichigo laughed as he jumped forward, weapon held high over his head. As he felt gravity's pull, he brought the blades down. Nnoitra's single eye grew wide, his mouth agape. The weapon was coming down, right at his face! At just the last minute, Nnoitra regained his bearings. He threw himself out of the way, falling hard on his side. His ribs and hip screamed their pain at him.

Just when he thought the pain couldn't get worse, Nnoitra's own zanpakuto made contact with his ankle. He screamed in unrestrained agony. Ichigo gave a violent tug at the pole of the weapon, slicing the quinto Espada's foot clean off. He coughed and spluttered, grabbing at the space where his foot once was. Ichigo stepped on Nnoitra's wrist, holding it in place. While Nnoitra's skin was tough enough to handle a lot (more than just about any other Espada, he might add), there was still a slight pain in his wrist. Nnoitra attempted to free the wrist by using his other hand. Ichigo leaned down until his lips were to Nnoitra's ear.

"Shh," Ichigo shushed him, "if you struggle so much, I'll have to cut your hands off, too."

This caused the quinto Espada to gape at him disbelievingly and struggle even more. Ichigo was jostled around. Nnoitra knew he had been caught by surprise, but now the kid was dead meat! The orange haired Vizard gasped as Nnoitra yanked his hand out from under his foot. This, he hadn't expected.

"Have it your way, then," Ichigo chuckled.

With one swift sweep of the blade, the hand that Nnoitra had fought so furiously to keep was gone. Nnoitra stared in shock, then screamed again. Never had he known so much agony in his life. Never had he been wounded by his own weapon. He'd never thought that any weapon could wound him. Sure, his own weapon probably could- but the fact that it would be turned against him, that just couldn't be happening!

Ichigo held his head, as if the ruckus truly hurt his head (which it probably did). Why didn't anyone ever quietly take their torture and/or death? He just didn't understand the concept of fear and the need to escape.

He moaned to himself, "I cut off a few limbs so that you be quiet, and then you have to go and make more noise. I guess I'll have to fix you."

Nnoitra immediately shut up as he stared in horror. He tried to drag himself away, using only one hand and cradling the nub where the other was missing. He felt the distinct pressure of a hand wrapping around the ankle of his good leg. Desperate to avoid further torture, Nnoitra grabbed hold of the couch. Simply to prove a point, Ichigo tugged Nnoitra until the Espada lost his grip. He didn't have to do it. He could have just started the torture then and there, but then, where was all the fun in that? Why not destroy the man's silly pride while he was at it?

"No! No!" Nnoitra continuously shouted, feeling the pressure of a weight on his back.

Ichigo stared coldly, and then smiled his evil, insane smile, "Yes."

"Let me go! Let me- _guaaah_!"

He grinned as the black and white blade carved deep into flesh. The bones cracked and crunched as he cut as closely he could to the spine. It was so painful for Nnoitra that his vision went black from the intensity of the pain. By this point, Ichigo was high on the thrill of the torture. He paid no mind to the screaming and the feeble struggles of his victim. He made an identical slice down the other side of Nnoitra's spine.

Now that Nnoitra's ribcage had nothing holding them in place, Ichigo was easily able to shove his hands down into the wounds. He clamped either hand around the bone and flesh of Nnoitra's rib area, and with a mighty jerk, he pried the ribs away from what was protected inside. The Espada's ribs protruded outward, like a ghoulish mockery of wings. Once again, Ichigo shoved his hands into Nnoitra's back, and this time, he grabbed hold of his lungs. Nnoitra screamed his very last agonized, hateful scream while Ichigo continued to pull out the balloon like organs.

As Nnoitra lay twitching and gasping, his breath being slowly constricted, Ichigo remembered something. The boy hopped to his feet, dropping the zanpakuto as he went. Before Nnoitra could eve think of bleeding to death, he black out from lack of oxygen. Ichigo was back soon after, salt in hand. He looked down upon the unmoving man.

"Aww, darn," Ichigo whined, "he died before I could do the last part…"

~o~o~o~o~o~

Renji lost the last ounce of patience he had when he heard a scream from within the house. What he didn't was that there had been screaming all this time, but that didn't matter. Renji pulled out Zabimaru. He made quick work of the front door and was headed down the stairs to the basement in no time at all. When he got to the bottom, Renji found himself slipping on something. He fell to the floor with a quick 'oof'. Upon looking up, Renji saw a hand just in front of his nose. With a squeak, he skittered backwards, using his hands to support himself. He felt something press against the small of his back, which caused him to jump away from this, as well. When he jumped, he fell again, right on top of something strange and bony.

Renji curiously reached a hand under his stomach to feel the contours of the thing. It had an odd shape to it- narrow at the top, then expanding, then shrinking. There was a shape like a ball at the bottom, and it curved at a ninety degree angle. The redhead continued to slide his fingers across the soft surface, finding another bony area. There were five knobby parts that stretched into five scrawny extensions. Renji blinked, piecing together this snippets and not wanting to consider it. He felt the bile rising in his throat, as if he would be sick.

He sat up, refusing to look back at the foot on the cold stone floor. He looked behind himself, finding the source of the two appendages on the floor. There was a man, sprawled out on his belly. His good arm was outstretched, as if to grab for the edge of the couch. His ribs were torn outward from his back, his lungs hanging out the sides of the wounds. Blood had welled up and was pooling in the mirrored wounds. It leaked out in neat little lines down his sides. The lieutenant knew, without checking the man's vital signs, that he was dead.

Only at this moment did he hear a soft scuttling sound from the darkness around him. Renji could not pinpoint the origination of the sound. The room was so large that it created an echo effect. The thing could just as easily have been behind him as it could have been from the side or front. He whipped his head around as panic forced his heart to hammer as quicker than it ever had before. As the sounds of movement grew louder, Renji realized another disturbing fact: he could not sense any spiritual pressure coming from it.

He shook as he awaited whatever torture that would come. As his adrenaline was making him more and more frantic, Renji found that it had an effect contrary to the usual. Instead of being able to understand things better, they only became more muddled. Something shot out from the darkness- a flash of paleness in the black all around him. Finally, the adrenaline started working correctly, and for a frightening moment, Renji could see what it was. A hand was grabbing at him. He followed up from the hand to find that it was connected to a body, and he saw the terrifying smile and glint of insanity in those tawny irises more than anything else. He felt the grip around his forearm, just below his elbow.

_"Ahhhh_!" Renji screamed in horror as that hand started pulling at him.

He was pulling him in! Pulling him into the shadows! Renji struggled with all his might, attempting yank his arm away. He tried as hard as he could, and still, that smile remained on Ichigo's face, growing ever closer. With a fleeting memory of Zabimaru, Renji remembered that he was not absolutely defenseless. He lifted the hefty zanpakuto, swinging it at his assailant. He felt a slight twitch of pressure at the end of his blade. Renji was unsure of whether or not he had done enough to get Ichigo off him. The room had grown absolutely silent, and the hand around his arm did not loosen.

The moment of peace then ended. Ichigo's grip tightened unimaginably hard, and then it was completely gone. Renji could hear a screech that was now farther away. He had done it… he had wounded Ichigo! He surged forward, Zabimaru in hand and newfound courage in his heart. The adrenaline rush extinguished the last of his fear. His heart pounded with more and more strength. Renji followed the sounds of the screaming that he could now pinpoint exactly. When he was sure that he was close enough, he brandished his zanpakuto brazenly.

The weapon met thin air, and Renji was astonished for but one moment. Ichigo emerged from the shadows for a second time, but this time, Renji didn't see it until the Vizard was already upon him. A stranglehold was firmly in place around the redheaded shinigami's neck before his head roughly collided with the basement floor. Lights flashed behind his eyes. The back of his skull felt as if it had exploded from the sheer agony. Unlike earlier, all he could see now was that wide grin on his face…

* * *

**I blame the Miami cannibalism incident. I really, really do. It's got me wired. Anyway, moving on~ This chapter was all over the place. Ulqui went to the Bahamas (after Aizen's persuasion), Grimmjow made fun of Nnoitra, and then Nnoitra got dead... Sucks to be him. As promised, I worked the blood eagle into this chapter. Let me know if I did it well!**

**On another note, it seems that Renji is in a tight bind. What will happen now? Will Renji be murder victim number four? or will Ichigo finally show mercy and let him go?... Nahhh. xD**


	7. Ticking Time Bomb

**Here it is, guys! Chapter... uh... 7? xD**

* * *

Why did Ichigo have to mock him? Why? Couldn't he see that he had won by now? Couldn't he see that Renji was now reduced to gibbering mess of the man he was not one day ago? Renji stared up through, rather than at, the face above him. He had once seen this man as on capable of greatness. He had once looked towards this man as not only his, but also Rukia's savior. He had once… called this man a friend…

A soft hand rubbed against Renji's face, brushing away tears he did not know he had released. Ichigo pulled his hand away and flipped it. He gazed at his hand in mild fascination. The boy then brought his hand back to Renji's face, running his fingers under his eyelids and picking up more of the moisture. Renji closed his eyes tightly, his brows furrowing. Ichigo leaned down, placing both hands on the redhead's cheeks.

"Why is your face getting wet?" he whispered, wide-eyed.

"Why are you acting like a child?" Renji snapped back at him, his own eyes still closed.

This, as made apparent by Ichigo's reaction, was the wrong answer. The fingers of his right hand curled, bringing his nails against Renji's cheek. Slowly, his nails dragged down, scraping deep lines of red into the side of his face. Renji hissed at the singing sensation that resulted and groaned when the saline liquid known as tears seeped into the abrasions.

"Why is your face getting wet?" he repeated threateningly.

"They're tears," Renji gave in and explained, "I'm crying."

The boy seemed to ponder this momentarily. He raised a finger thoughtfully to his lips as his eyes began to wander around the room. He then began rub his hands over Renji's cheeks again.

"There was someone else who I brought in here, too," the orange haired Vizard giggled, "she was kind of like you. I called her Mary. She cried, too. That was also kind of like you. But she screamed too much, so I had to make her shut up. She kept screaming and screaming and making my head hurt, so I sewed her mouth shut, too."

Ichigo stared off into space, as if reliving what he was explaining. He grew silent, but then continued his story.

"And I was going to have so much fun with Mary. We were going to play. Then, Ulqui came and made her go bye-bye. I miss Mary. But I had to throw her away, because she was broken. Broken toys have to thrown away."

Renji watched Ichigo in wide-eyed, gaping mouthed astonishment. The person he was describing sounded exactly like Rukia. He was describing her murder- her dying moments!- as if it were just some game to him!

"You- You monster," Renji growled, "you _did_ kill Rukia!"

He tilted his head, eyes growing wider (if that was possible), "Rukia?" he asked, putting a lot of emphasis on each syllable and making her name sound like roo-kee-uh. His scary smile was back, like some sort of horrible nightmare that could never be escaped.

Renji pounded his fists on Ichigo's chest, "You monster, you _monster_! Give her back! Give back Rukia!"

At first, Ichigo merely watched as Renji exhibited the behavior. He was amused. Suddenly, sharp twinge of pain went through his body when Renji's fist hit the slice from the zanpakuto. Ichigo's hand moved lightning fast and grabbed hold of the redhead's wrist. Ichigo stared Renji down.

"Bad," he told Renji, "you are a bad toy. Are you broken?"

Renji, realizing the peril he was now in, shook his head fervently. Ichigo paid this no mind. He pinned both of Renji's hands down with his own hands. He leaned down until he was nose to nose with Renji.

"I have to fix my broken toys," he told the fearful shinigami with a cheerful grin, "I have to fix you."

Renji closed his eyes with a grimace, "No. No, you don't. I'm not broken. I don't need to be fixed," his voice broke, "I'm not broken, I'm not broken…"

Ichigo leaned his forehead against Renji's, "You're crying again," he mused, sounding a little too happy as he did, "but you don't make lots of noise like M- Rukia."

He continued to pronounce Rukia's name the same way as earlier. He was genuinely interested in Renji. This was the first guest he'd had that was so peculiar. One moment, he was quiet, and the next, he was positively the loudest being Ichigo had ever heard.

"I like you," he decided, "you're a fun toy."

Renji knew that if he rose to the bait and replied to Ichigo, then he would just make a fool of himself. He'd also possibly get himself killed- not that death seemed unlikely at the rate things were going. The redhead gulped down his complaints and watched silently as Ichigo admired ever detail of Renji. It was absolutely nerve-racking to be looked at this way, but he knew that the only emotion Ichigo currently felt was childlike fascination. Well, he could live with at least knowing he wasn't going to get raped before he died…

~o~o~o~o~o~

Aizen stared down at the sexta Espada, "Grimmjow. I've an important task for you."

"Oh, hell no! I should've seen this coming-" the blue haired man had already begun to protest when Aizen cut him off.

"Please, just humor me this once, Grimmjow. Two days is all I ask, then I will get a replacement," he explained, then continued, "I believe that whatever issue it is with Ichigo, it is fatal. If that is so, then he only has a week left to live. While I'm searching for a cure, I need you to look after him. You are the only arrancar I know of that can handle the pressure in there, aside from Ulquiorra.

We previously set up a very strong barrier in the basement which he resides in. It suppresses all spiritual pressure. Believe me when I tell you this, Grimmjow. It is for the best that you are unable to use your power, because that means that neither can he."

"Whoa, whoa! Wait," Grimmjow interjected, "you mean to say that I won't be able to sense him, even if he's right next to me? That I won't be able to use my power, even I self-defense?"

"It's a risk we have to take, Grimmjow. Inside of Ichigo Kurosaki's body, there is a war for his mind. Right now, it looks as if the poison is winning, and if it does, then his spiritual pressure will skyrocket and destroy everything within at least a mile radius. This was the only thing we could think of that could reduce the damage."

"Are you telling me that this kid is a living, ticking time bomb?" he ventured incredulously.

"Precisely."

~o~o~o~o~o~

"Uh... excuse me..." Renji said, "hey, why am I tied down here?"

Ichigo looked up from the object he was tinkering with, "So you don't run away."

Renji tugged on his bonds, "But don't you think this is a bit- uh- much?"

Confused, Ichigo shook his head, "No."

"I understand that you want to tie me up, but why am I tied to this bed?" he asked exasperatedly.

"That's a stupid question. There's nowhere else to tie you to, silly," he replied in a giggly voice, now getting up to walk over to the bed.

"W-w-what are you going to do with that?"

He smiled fondly at the object in his hand, "Gee, for such an interesting toy, you ask a lot of questions. I can't have you making lots of noise when I get new guests. I can only play with one toy at a time."

With that, Ichigo stuffed the stress ball into Renji's mouth and slapped some tape over his mouth. Renji stared with wide eyes at Ichigo, who simply giggled.

"Don't give me that look. I'll be back later," he paused as he heard someone coming down the stairs, "oh, what an impatient guest. Bye-bye!"

Renji wiggled and tugged against his bonds, watching as his only escape was closed and locked.

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**Okay, okay, I know. Lazy, lazy, lazy. o.o I'll have to work on that, but anyway! Renji has been spared...! Or has he? And Ichigo is a ticking time bomb? We've got to get to the bottom of this!**


End file.
